School

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have Read More

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Little Paddy

Teacher: ‘Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we’re going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday.’ Little Paddy thinks, ‘Whoo hooo! I’m bleedin’ deadly at General Knowledge. This is Read More

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Counting crows

The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. “Yes, teacher,” he said, “my dad taught me.” “Good, Andy. Tell me what comes after two,” the teacher said. “Three,” replied Andy. “Very good. What comes after five, Andy?” asked the teacher. “Six,” answered Andy. “Excellent. Your dad did Read More

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English is hard

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare Read More

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Grammar

“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.” Give others a giggle…

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Little Johnny

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. Read More

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Techy humour

At a computer software course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?” Among the ensuing forest of raised hands Read More

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Schooltime

A ten year old boy was failing maths. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he Read More

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A lesson learnt

A teacher wanted to demonstrate to his 5th form the evils of drink, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely,” said the teacher putting the first worm into the water. The worm in the water Read More

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