Amal

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan”. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, Read More

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Music to my ears

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. “Oh, we returned the piano.” said My Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet Read More

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In this life

In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could Read More

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Shopping

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent Read More

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Louisiana

A girl from Louisiana and a girl from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Louisiana, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?” The east coast girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at Read More

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Murphy’s Lesser-Known Dictums

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a Read More

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Vacuum salesman

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, “Lady, if Read More

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Sleep

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger. “Yeah, it’s 4:30,” answers Read More

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Take my word for it

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has Read More

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