Drinking mates

Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years. After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat “We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor? Get the best bottle of Read More

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Bar opening

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” Read More

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Three paddys

Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it. The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink. The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks. The Irishman Read More

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Phew!

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, Read More

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Duck at the bar

A duck waddles into a bar and asks, “Have any grapes?” The bartender calmly replies, “No,” and the duck waddles out. The next day, the duck waddles in and asks, “Have any grapes?” The bartender looks at the duck, and says, “Nope. Not today either, ” and the the duck Read More

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Bar joke

A termite walks in a bar and say “Is the bartender?” Give others a giggle…

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Guy walks into a bar

Two guys are out taking their dogs for a walk and stroll past the neighborhood watering hole. The first guy suggests they stop in for a quick drink before heading back home. The second guy points out the obvious, no bar is going to let dogs in so they might Read More

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Drunken honesty

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on Read More

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The “Buffolo Theory” of Beer..

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of Read More

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