todayilaughed.com

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

“If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked.

“Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

“Go and get help!” he cried.

“But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!”

“Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.”

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!”

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do…he’s in too far.”

A Galway guy was rearing crabs in a barrel, when along came a yank.

“Hey, Paddy, how do you do that? Do those crabs not just climb up and out of the barrel?”

“No, sir,” says Paddy. “Them are Irish crabs. If one of them gets near the top, the others will pull him back down!”