A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence: Get well quick….. From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”
posted in doctor, police |
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor considered this for a second, and continued – “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”
posted in doctor |
posted in couples, doctor |
Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’
The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’
The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’
The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts – the mouth and the arsehole – and they are interchangeable’
posted in doctor |
Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my arse!
I’ll have to give you some cream for that.
posted in adult humour, doctor |
(she said she was clean!)
posted in doctor |
posted in animals, doctor |
posted in animals, doctor |
