An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.
The young man finally said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
posted in adult humour, funny |
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?”
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Grandma Moses of Jail.”
Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?”
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, “I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games.”
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, “Why are you so smug? What did you bring?”
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, “I brought these.”
The other two were puzzled and asked, “What can you do with those?”
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, “Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating….”
posted in funny |
